LIVESTRONG – ARMSTRONG

This is Adam posting.

I have been more aware lately of one of God’s unique gifts to humans, joy. It is somewhat ironic that in what is the most stressful season of life ever for us we find God’s kindness in joy and laughter. When you first start laughing it feels wrong, like an intrusion in your now permanently somber lifestyle. But, now I greet it and welcome laughter for what it is, one of the most beautiful and simple gifts of God. Our daughters have begun asking us what our best and worst parts of the day were at dinner. When it was my turn, for my best part, I thought about laughing with my bride and with my co-workers and my classes. The moments of laughter are small and they don’t ultimately heal. But, they remind us of the graces of God even in the midst of this trial. They prevent me from focusing only on myself and they remind me to look up towards God and out towards others. And today I looked out and saw my little Mollie laughing hysterically at her new found ability to blow bubbles. Thank God for little joys and for little girls who seem to make the joys multiply.

“Yet he did not leave himself without witness, for he did good by giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness.”
Acts 14:17

My clock read 8 this morning. This is the latest I have slept in a long time. Hayleigh is a violent sleeper. Both sleepovers went well last night. Adam and Paige had a good time and had great stories to share, but as expected Paige was tuckered out and ready for bed by 5:30. We all enjoyed Cinderella at CVCA. The girls loved meeting all their favorite characters after the show. The day was a good day as a family.

Lamentations 3:22-23
“because of the Lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

The house is quiet tonight. Adam and Paige are on a sleep-over field trip. Adam just texted me that the kids are not going to bed until 10:30, this is rough mind you, since normally Paige is in bed sound asleep by 8. She is our early riser generally up no later than 6am. Tomorrow could be a rough day. Adam took one for the team tonight, generally this type of event would be my deal but due to my low counts it was not a wise move. Hopefully some great daddy-daughter memories are made.

Hayleigh and Mollie and I had date with a movie and momma time. Hayleigh is excited for our sleepover.

I learned today that it could take 1 to 2 weeks to get the results from my brothers blood tests, so my expectation of knowing the next step could be delayed. Our visit with Dr. Petrus was short and sweet…my blood counts are still low, which means I need to be cautious. If you see me and I don’t hug you it’s not because I don’t want to, but I shouldn’t. Germs. I continue to be thankful for good health. Thank you for your prayers. I love the weekends.

Phillipians 4:6-7
” do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving present your requests to God.”

I am grateful that my heart has not been overwhelmed with anxiety over the steps ahead, I praise Him.

I am glad it was a rainy, dreary day as I spent a majority of it on my butt in a chair being transfused with red blood cells. It is amazing what a difference having oxygen back in my blood makes. I feel much better.

Ever since having a ” story” I am amazed at the other stories you hear. It makes you realize there is a lot of pain all around us, it is just a matter of how we let that affect us. I am thankful for each day. Praying that as you read you take time to reflect on your many blessings. When we praise Him for the blessings in our lives it can be overwhelming.

“I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.”
Jeremiah 31:25 NIV

As expected from the way I felt yesterday my blood counts were low. My blood is “special”so some was not available until tomorrow. For those of you that understand the blood lingo I received my platelets today and will get my red blood cells (hemoglobin) tomorrow. Here is where I am to put my plug in for donating blood…it is important. I am tuckered out mostly due to my counts being so low. Continue to pray for protection from sickness. Just an FYI this is to be expected it is part of the plan and the job of the chemo. As Hayleigh says, “your counts are down, but they are gonna come back up, right mom?”. They are certainly listening all the time.

Romans 12:12
“be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

I could tell I was more run down today. I just felt more low key all day. As the nurses say my
” Nader” is tomorrow, which is when my counts should be the lowest as it is week out from my last chemo dose. I didn’t leave the house today. Had a play date with Kendall and Vance, and enjoyed a good visit with the Siegferth’s. Jeananne dropped of the benefits from the Zumba fiesta Saturday. Our family is extremely blessed by so many people’s love and generosity. Thank you! The remainder of the day consisted of a cat nap, play, dinner and bath. I am blown away at how time passes so quickly.

We see Dr. Petrus tomorrow.

“the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” Psalm 37:23-24

I know I need to be continually held and carried through each day.

I hate the reason why I get to spend more time with Adam, but I thoroughly enjoy our times together pursuing the path the Lord desires us to follow. Today at the clinic was not nearly as shocking or disheartening as we’ve now heard the stats several times. The doctor was very thorough and answered many of our remaining questions. It is always humorous how when we later rehash the appointment we think of yet another question. My brothers have received their kits for blood draws so we should have results by end of this week or early next. This is the next step in this journey. We need a good/ perfect match to highly consider this next step. I am torn, but trust it will be clear and we will have peace. I have a cold/ cough but rejoicing with no fever. Praying it will go away quickly. I am eager to sleep.

Colossians 1:11-12
” may you be strengthened with all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.”

Mollie sporting her team Armstrong t-shirt! Thanks Ben and Ashley!

The day I was diagnosed was a very hard day for me. I remember picking up Paige from school wondering what words would make sense to her. Why was she randomly being picked up from school by both mom and dad, the morning started off so normal. Upon her getting into the car we small talked on our ride home. How does one suppress her true feelings when sharing with her daughters that mommy is very sick and has to go to the hospital. I tried real hard to be strong but tears flowed, and boy did they flow from my sweet Paige. This day was very hard.

My first morning in the hospital I received two letters. One from Paige that read:

Mom I love you so much that I can not tell you. When you were gone we went to Pam’s. We played dollhouse and dress up. I miss you and will see you tomorrow. Love, Paige

And one from Adam:
My dearest Allie,
There must be something to the whole ‘two must become one’ thing because nothing feels quite right when you are gone. Your absence is noticeable. It’s a little like trying to do everything with one hand in a cast. You remember that you used to do it, but it seems much harder all of the sudden. I miss your company and laughter. I realize that when we are here I like just being with you or around you. So, sometimes I don’t know quite what to do with myself when you are gone.
It has been hard to be near the center of attention for me. But ,oh Allie do you see how much you are loved by so many people? When people are trying to console me I find I try to make it easier on them. I am staying busy, staying task oriented so as to keep moving and keep things going as natural as possible.

I started reading Job today and noticed a few things. First, is how proud god seems to be of Job. He puts him forward as an example of how humans should be. I want God to feel that way about me. Satan seems to think all humans act only out of purely selfish reasons. So, Job loves God because his life has been blessed yet, Job shows him to be wrong. After the disaster he grieves and laments but worships. Still sees God as God the Lord over all and his Lord. he doesn’t let go of his anchor of faith in the Lord. May we be the same.
Love,
Adam

We continue to need that anchor and daily depend on Him for direction and confidence in Him.
Tomorrow we will return to the Cleveland Clinic for blood work and more information regarding transplant. Continue to pray for His leading and wisdom.

I am pooped tonight. The dreary weather was nasty, and cold. The older two girls and mom and I made it to the zumba fiesta. It was so fun to see many come together to exercise and bless my family that way. Thank you to all, but especially Jeananne and her family. I hope to have pictures to share tomorrow. I don’t know the official word but the Zumba belt that makes noise when you shake your booty was a big hit here with the girls. Thankful we could be a part and very grateful for the love of friends. Thank You!

A glorious Friday. I love the sunshine and crisp yet warm air. It was a good day. My visit to Petrus office was uneventful. My counts were okay, and I was allowed around people so I ran a few errands today while my kiddos played with great friends Gracie and Quinn, they loved it. My afternoon was spent visiting with a couple friends. I laid down to rest thinking I would never sleep, and I surprised myself with a cat nap that felt great. Dinner was followed by a great event, the family walked/ rode to Handels for an ice cream treat. It was a crazy, messy adventure. The choice flavor was double chocolate chunk, you can imagine that on all three girls. We planned a surprise arrival of some special friends to enjoy ice cream together. Our girls absolutely adore LT and Audra and were very excited to see them. They accompanied us home and endured story time. The girls were in heaven. Thankful for all our special friends who love us and our girls as their own. What a beautiful day, thankful.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13