Archive | January, 2013

Swagger wagon

31 Jan

I have heard adam call our newest ride by this title a few times, the swagger wagon. Inside I want to giggle, sounds like a racey term. We did it with a lot of help and work of others. We are proud owners of a Toyota Sienna Mini-van. That is right we have arrived and we have plenty of room for storage. With a diagnosis of leukemia I can imagine many people who ignore planning for the future or making changes but for some reason we have done the opposite and decided that there is no point in waiting to do the type of things we tend to talk about but put off until later. We just made a big bedroom exchange; Paige took over Mollie’s room and has it all to herself…well almost all to herself. We got her a new bed with a trundle and Hayleigh asks if she can sleep over every night. Paige picked the bedding and the new paint and it looks great. Mollie and Hayleigh now call each other roomy. They are trying to figure out how to fall asleep without getting into trouble. Last night Hayleigh joined Mollie in the big bed and they slept all night together. With cancer we could just stay inside and not change anything but that is just not us so we will keep moving forward and picking projects and exciting events! Watch out world we are coming and we have a swagger wagon!

20130131-072411.jpg

Main Squeeze

28 Jan

He has a lot of names that have been given by me. He is mine and I his. I love him dearly. This road has been walkable with Him loving me through it. If you don’t know Him you should, but not now he is busy with me :) . He is my better half, my partner in crime, or my love bug. I could go on but he might blush. I am thankful.

20130128-223915.jpg

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25, 28, 31, 32 ESV)

Sovereignty

27 Jan

Today I joined corporate worship again. It felt good to be among my church family. I love to worship through song. I love to sing praises back to Him. It was emotional to sing about His love for us and His goodness, yet so true. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I allowed my heart to feel the depths of His promises. The words to Sovereign Over Us resonated and spoke truth into my day. I encourage you to listen to the words and not think about my story, but think about your journey and the truth it speaks to you. He is sovereign, and He is present in our lives.

AARON KEYES SOVEREIGN OVER US LYRICS
V1
There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning, With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting, Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding, You’re teaching us to trust

CHORUS
Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

V2
You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace
Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me, Your promises are my delight

BR
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
Youʼre working for our good, Youʼre working for our good and for your glory

The sun shone

27 Jan

20130127-081113.jpg

20130127-081010.jpg

What does a family do after getting such hard news? We haven’t done this before, is there a proper response? We keep going, we put one foot in front of the other, we keep hoping. There are a lot of thoughts at different moments; how much is too much for kids, how long, what next, I avoid the why thoughts, what should we do? It goes on. But we don’t stay there, there is too much happening in the present.

The sun shone on us throughout our day. We enjoyed time with friends, took in a movie, welcomed a friend for 11 hours on a layover, we slept. When our eyes opened again we had reason to get up. There is purpose in today. Our kids love today not thinking much about tomorrow. As the snow fell and the sun shone it was beautiful. The kids and dad attempted a sledding adventure with little success. I enjoyed an hour visit with sweet Aubren, my dear friend from Colorado years. It seems like just yesterday we were there living a care free life. Slowly another plan developed. A chance to cross country ski in Gods beauty! It was wonderful and something adam and I wanted to do together,I laughed a lot with Hannah as we would wobble and fall in the powder. The time outside in His creation encouraged me, He makes so many amazing creations. Can you believe He made you, just the way He did for a reason? It took me a long time to get that…. He made me and He loves me just like He made everything else: sun, clouds, trees, and snowflakes. We enjoyed the sun and snow combination.

We finished the night with a date. We tried something new. It was fun and good. We talked about hard things and fun things. Tears roll easily down these cheeks when I hear Adams heart peek through at moments. Stay in the today and the tomorrow seems ok, but think too far down the road it gets messy. For today I choose today. Yesterday was great. Date night with my love and time with friends and a warm bed. It encouraged me into this day. Thank you for praying, we need you, and we seek Him.

20130127-081032.jpg

20130127-081041.jpg

20130127-081058.jpg

News

26 Jan

Today was a hard day. We didn’t get good news. I didn’t have a settled feeling last night leading into today. I kept hearing, “prepare your heart”. The day started and my appointments with preparations toward transplant began. As the hour neared noon I began to relax thinking, no news must be good news. Not minutes after I had this thought my nurse Karen entered with news of an un scheduled appointment with Dr. Sobecks. This could only mean one thing, I am not in remission.

The appointments for transplant stopped. I must be in remission to transplant. The future is unknown. We continue to trust, and seek His leading. We continue to seek Him for all things. We are grateful for your prayers, and know He hears them.

We are sad today. But we embrace that His plan is not our plan and He beckons us to trust Him with all things. My heart is prepared. He gives me purpose.

Waiting

24 Jan

Today was a long day. All went well at clinic. I am exhausted and weary. We wait for the results. We continue to trust, and hope. Thank you for the prayers and encouragement! Another long day on the docket for tomorrow. We are thankful for the family and friends that make these days possible with travel, childcare and food. Have we told you thank you?

Prayers of Remission

23 Jan

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction. (Psalms 107:19, 20 ESV)

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39 ESV)

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. (3 John 1:2 ESV)

I believe my body can be healed and in remission. I ask that The Lord make Himself evident to us in the days ahead. My bone marrow biopsy is tomorrow at 1:45, join us in praying for remission and for His power to be revealed to us and those around us. I continue to embrace His love for me through this journey.

Quality Time

22 Jan

Lunch date, just me and my oldest girl, quality time. My arrival to school was expected. I watched from afar as she played with her classmates. Life is normal to her. Her world is controlled, safe and good. I like her care free spirit. Even for me life has felt for an instant normal. I am home and caring for my family; doing baths and cooking occasionally (but not all that often, thanks to many of you). I am present and active with people I love. We packed up her bags and called it a day. As we departed we had to decide where to next. A lunch date requires a destination.

I let her call the shots. We ended up at Yours Truly. A booth for two. We had fun just the two of us. She acted older and seemed confident. It was her day. The menu full of things usually off limits, totally fair game today. A special drink? Sure. Dessert? You bet. It’s your date. As we sat and talked, she smiled like she was sixteen, and said, ” thanks for spending time with me mom.” I replied quickly, ” I love spending time with you.” She said with ease,” but you could be doing a lot of other things.” My heart overwhelmed with love for her and I said, “nothing as great at this.”

Moments. They are memorable. Out of our ninety minutes together that was probably three, and it is etched in my heart. Quality time together with those you love is time never wasted. We had fun. She is growing up way too fast. I pray her heart continues to be as tender as it is today. I pray for her a lot, and of course the other girlies. My mind wonders often to all the things this mom desires to see The Lord work together in their lives. Trusting them into the hands of their Creator each day.

Test Drive

21 Jan

I never really have used the blogging world to help me make decisions. If you know me well decisions are not my strong suit. I sometimes have strong opinions and other times none. I get lost in the middle too because I like most everyone around me to be happy.

We are considering a new car. Both of ours are equally tired. We test drove a few cars today. I always claimed I didn’t want to be a mini van mom. Have I arrived? I don’t know. I love being a mom, why wouldn’t I embrace it? Decisions? If you are opinionated and have feed back for the Armstrong family in limbo please have fun with sharing. We tried out the mini van feel along with the 7 seat SUV.

Oh and I am pulling for a snow/wind day tomorrow.

Questions

20 Jan

The advise given to us in regards to sharing details about my health, with our girls has been, they will ask what they want to know. Don’t tell them what they aren’t asking. Recently asked questions:

-” mom when will you have long hair like Paige?”
Hopefully one day!

-”mom when will your cancer be gone?”-Paige
We hope soon. We need mommy’s cancer to be gone. Mommy can’t keep getting this cancer, she can’t live with it.
-”you mean you could died with it?”-Hayleigh
Yes this cancer could kill mom. But we all could die today in a car accident, any accident; that is why we need to know Jesus personally so we can go to heaven.
- mom do you know other girls that died?- Hayleigh
Yes mom knows others girls that have died.

I know there brains are thinking. I pray for His protection over their hearts and minds. Keep fear away from them, but allow them to know there safe place at home.