Day -5

28 Jun

I woke up again in this unfamiliar “new home” I struggle to find it comfortable. I look for the good but the separation from everything I love seems overwhelming. Often when my throat tightens and emotions brim I realize I am focusing on me and the things I am missing, and not His plans. He paved this road for us and beckoned us to follow Him in complete faith. I need to refocus often as I journey through these days.

Today I was given a perfect distraction and great joy as I hugged each of my girls and saw their faces. I so desperately long to be the active mom I have always been, present in their lives and Adam’s teammate. We will continue to take this journey one day at a time, and refocus often.

Desiring restful sleep tonight. Only 3 more days of chemo!

Paige at her swim meet tonight…I was cheering for her in spirit!

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10 Responses to “Day -5”

  1. mom June 28, 2012 at 10:51 pm #

    Your entries the past few days have brought such gratitude to my heart and tears for the beautiful young lady that you are. I am so grateful for you and your honesty with this challenging journey! The pics of the girls are wonderful…and Paige’s pics swimming made me smile! I love you so much!

  2. Theresa June 28, 2012 at 11:03 pm #

    We love you and are rooting for you!
    Be brave, be faithful, keep inspiring me to seek Him more!
    Theresa

  3. Julie Koles June 29, 2012 at 6:48 am #

    You will never know how many lives you have touched and changed with your words, your faith, your attitude during this challenging journey that God has you on……wishing you peace from the pain………
    Julie

  4. Karen Smith June 29, 2012 at 8:23 am #

    With my Aunt now in Heaven, I have told many the story about how she accepted Christ on Wednesday and on Thursday one day later she was with Him. You never know how your journey will help others. God uses us to help others on their journeys. What an amazing person of faith you are. You are honest with your struggles and so centered in who you are in God. God Bless and keep you in His care as you continue your journey to wellness again! :) We are praying! Karen

  5. Aunt Sue June 29, 2012 at 9:47 am #

    I know you don’t want to be the ‘poster child’ for this illness – however, your journey is not alone – we travel small parts with you but you lead the way. Your transparency through this makes me laugh and cry. Your heartbreak makes me sad. Your commitment to the Lord makes me challenged – desiring the have the depth that you have shown. Praying in the coming days for both you and Jonathan! See you in a bit :)

  6. Tara June 29, 2012 at 10:02 am #

    Allie, I continue to pray every day for you. When we get back into town, I want to spend some time with you. Can’t wait to try some of those recipes for you and your family too! Love you so much!

  7. Jamie Williams June 29, 2012 at 11:00 am #

    Thinking of you everyday…hope to come and see you next week….maybe THursday?
    Hang in there…even though you feel somewhat isolated and alone in your room there…you are not. And your daughters have a fantastic mom…and I am certain that they know that and feel your presence even though you aren’t home with them right now. Just think of what strong little young ladies you are creating because of your grace, strength and faith.

    I am constantly praying for you. Please let me know if I can do anything for you to help.
    BIG HUGS…stay strong beautiful lady!

    Jamie

  8. Lois June 29, 2012 at 11:40 am #

    Allie,
    You are such a beautiful young lady with a blessed soul traveling some rough waters but your faith will continue to keep you above it all. I have printed your whole blog so that Aunt Janie can read it this coming week while we will be at the lake house without internet access. Know that you and Jonathan are in our prayers.

  9. Katie June 29, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

    “and Jesus said come to the waters stand by my side, I know you are thirsty, you won’t be denied. And I felt every tear drop, when in darkness you cried, and I strove to remind you that for those tears I died.”

  10. Morgan lydic June 30, 2012 at 12:06 pm #

    Hi Allie:)
    I went to the silver lake meet on thursday and paige was awesome she is a true fishy! I
    Hope that your headaches go away.. Stay strong love you lots

    MoMo:)

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